The Demarcation Point

I’ve come to see the process of Healing & Growth as a shift from seeking others to complete me to the experience of feeling whole regardless of the presence of others. This is not to say I don’t enjoy being with people. I simply don’t need them to feel whole. 

I often describe this period and everything after as a demarcation point. A point so pronounced that everything before it looks like I was preparing for something that I didn't understand and everything afterward feels like an embodiment of that I sought. Life feels different, looks different and sounds different. However it's not just a sensate shift. It is a radical shift to living in purpose versus aspiring to live in purpose. I use the word purpose, however, it can be said in many ways. The phrasing, regardless of choice of words, simply does not express the experience of the before and after. 

One can call it an awakening, though in my view, that sells the journey short. The notion of an awakening speaks of a moment in time and though I can articulate several moments as significant in the process, it is a process of intention first and foremost. A multicolored full spectrum kaleidoscope of consciousness, sometimes agonizing, most of the time very intense and most thankfully, fulfilling and inwardly true. Though I listed true last, it really carries the most significant meaning in the process as I have learned to actually settle into my own vivid understanding of what it means to be truthful with myself and the world around me. Though sometimes my truth is not well-received I have learned to stay grounded in practice around truth and allow it to be a practice versus a static state of meaning and attachment. 

Along the path of this process of aligning myself with my Soul I have found a teacher whose unfolding mirrors my own. This teacher's name is Milarepa.  Though he lived over a 1000 years ago I feel a sense of kinship in our life stories. He comes from a lineage whose roots serve us today in the form of Tantra. Unfortunately much of Tantra today is seen through techniques that limit the extraordinary opportunity that is this soulful practice. Fortunately Buddhism claimed him as one of their own, giving us a contemporary connection to a wondrous master of consciousness. 

My initial connection with Milarepa lies in the nature of our habituated wounds. We were angry young men with too much knowledge and too little compassion and humility. We saw threads of connection yet chose to burn them for the sake of twisted and angry resentment. We saw people not through a loving and kind heart but through their shortcomings. We were taught these things by the examples of our mothers and chose in our respective lifetimes to Heal & Grow through these scorched inner wounds. To show that the process of Healing & Growth is possible for all. To show that redemption is a personal choice manifest in presence and not in the blessing from another no matter how blessed that individual. 

For both Milarepa and myself, the process of Healing & Growth was built upon a foundation that requires building, tearing down and then rebuilding over and over again. For the most part, this way of healing and growing is seen by modern humans as untenable. An approach centered on letting go and rebuilding is seen as wasted effort instead of a necessary part of building a strong inner foundation. This solid foundation is necessary for the Soul to connect with depth so we can manifest the fullness of our purpose. This is more metaphoric in some lives and quite literal in others. The building of my creative healing center was both metaphoric and literal in its expression of building, letting go and rebuilding. 

This opportunity facilitated a perspective I simply could not see and ultimately allowed a creative expression of self that was both redemptive and awakening. It comes back to preparing for something versus embodying it. I have been asked if I am proud of my creation of Simplicity Farm, and what arises is, “I let go and this is what happens.” 

When I set forth the intention of creating Simplicity Farm as a Healing & Growth center, I operated initially to complete the project asap. While immediacy is important when embarking upon a creative endeavor, how one inwardly practices with the project is central. I initially saw the building of the center as an obstacle to my teaching practice rather than recognizing that how I approached the building process was essential to my development as a teacher. In my haste I skipped steps. The result was that only months into the process and nearing what I perceived as completion, I was forced to stop and begin again. To adhere to specific building regulations that were overlooked in my need to get to my intended destination or completion. This ultimately extended the building process for over a year. I was given an extraordinary gift. During that year I stopped trying so hard to finish a project and allowed the process to unfold. I connected to play and creativity, allowing them to guide me rather than my old habits of anxiety, worry and frustration. A freedom within resulted in allowing me access to a creativity that had often felt far away, beyond me. 

- Excerpt from the forthcoming book Language of the Soul: A Path of Simplicity